After tackling subject matter ranging from the emergency state of the Trucking industry to our diminishing Constitutional Rights, I find myself taking the only logical next step: Deconstructing the poor wardrobe choices of young American males.
No need to thank me, it must be said.
With pants 12 sizes too big, sloppy oversized tees, shoes without laces and enough jewelry to cause flight delays in any International Airport, I can sum up the wardrobe in 3 carefully chosen words.
Y’all look stupid.
Starting with the jewelry… Unless you’re Snoop Dogg, clunky gold chains with medallions the size of toilet seats just don’t look right. (And if you ARE Snoop Dogg, hock one of those things and buy yourself a hamburger, dude! You’re starting to look like Nicole Richie before she got knocked up.)
Skull Caps. In a word, Ewww. With a double-Ick chaser if you wear them in warm weather. They aren’t hip, fly, cool, bangin’ or dope. They just make you look like a dope. Ain’t nothing says ‘Sexy’ like sweaty hat hair.
Baggy Tees worn through with holes. Niiiiice. And you pay top dollar for them? Shoot, I could save you some money. Go to any discount laundromat and look in a dryer. Bet it even has pre-made pitt stains and smells like a fresh dryer sheet.
…And that brings us to the pants. <shudder!> I don’t know why Common Sense eludes you guys, but I see the need to spell things out.
<Talking very slooowly.>
People –and by that I mean prospective employers and the entire female species– are not impressed by those who lack the intelligence to pull their pants up. The only folks who are impressed seem to be certain prison circles and other clueless young men. Unless you’re planning to get lucky on cellblock 8, you might want to buy pants that actually fit.
Just my opinion, mind you. Fashion icon that I am.
This article is an original post from www.UglyAssOpinion.com © Kelly L. Trainor 2008 All Rights Reserved
April 10, 2008 at 1:04 pm |
You must be reading my mind!! I have already told my oldest daughter she better not bring home a boy that can not find pants that fit right!!
April 10, 2008 at 1:32 pm |
Hahahaha… Excellent! Do ya mind coming to my hood and handing out leaflets?
April 10, 2008 at 1:58 pm |
Leaflets could be good, but maybe belts would be more useful.
April 11, 2008 at 12:46 pm |
Ya know, there is a reason I hate shopping and ya put the nail on the head. It makes me crazy trying to find decent men’s clothes!
July 22, 2008 at 9:18 pm |
I swear I didn’t copy you Kelly!! LOL!! I saw it on the news Sunday night. Should have known you’d already tackled it.
July 22, 2008 at 9:20 pm |
Pfffft! Didn’t think that at all, Joy. The more Common Sense we can get out there in Cyberland, the better! ;0)