Bob Basso as Thomas Paine

July 4, 2009

I’ve really been trying to stay away from politics (which is one of the reasons my posts have been so sporadic). Ugly Ass Opinion isn’t a political blog, it’s about Common Sense. And yet the political arena is such a feast of blog fodder! sigh.  JW Nicklaus brought this little gem to my attention, and what can I say? The man holding court reeks of Common Sense! It may make you squirm in your seat, but suck it up, Sweet Pea. We all need to watch, because we are leaving this mess for our children.

Y’all, if Thomas Paine were alive, I do believe he’d hug this man.

4 Comments | Business, Constitutional Rights, Education, Government, Kelly Trainor, Money, Opinion, People, Politics | Permalink
Posted by K. Trainor

A little Ugly Ass something for our youth.

June 26, 2009

…Writing this on the fly, so bear with me. It’s really hard to text on the expressway.

I’m kidding!  I kid! I’m sitting at my desk and I couldn’t use the text feature on my phone if you paid me.  I do need to head out the door though, so typos be damned!

"A Funny Donkey Bag" by Aulee Creations

"A Funny Donkey Bag" by Aulee Creations

Yesterday, while eating an Ugly Ass burger at BK, (that was not an attempt to boost keywords, btw. It really was an ugly ass burger.)  An-y-wayyyy, I watched a misguided young lady enter said establishment for a job interview.

She wore her very best special ed outfit for it, too.

Blue jeans, fashionably ripped, with a White Zombie tee complete with huge zombie face, one eyeball hanging from the socket, melting features and what appeared to be VOMIT coming out of its mouth.

I soooo would’ve hired her on the spot!

People. Kindly instruct the clueless youth. Not only are they in competition with other teens for summer work, but they’re competing with grown-ups for those jobs now, too. They need to be taught to dress and act accordingly.

Common Sense. Don’t leave home without it!

8 Comments | Business, Common Sense, Etiquette, Humor, Kelly Trainor, Manners, Opinion, Parenting, People, fashion | Tagged: , | Permalink
Posted by K. Trainor

Life’s Lessons -or- An Assortment of Ways Most of us have Fallen on our Asses

June 18, 2009
"Donkey" by Badger

"Donkey" by Badger

At a certain…ah…age…we start to get a little introspective. We start to look at how much we’ve learned, and realize how much more we haven’t. At least, those of us with an ounce of Common Sense do. But since not all people have that ounce, I feel the need to share. Those of you folks wandering around who just don’t get it, this one’s for you.

Sooner or later, all arrogant giants fall. Doesn’t matter if they’re companies, governments, societies or just some arrogant snob with a pole up his kiester. (Wooohooo…! K.R. are you listening? Pull it out, you look like a popsicle.)  ALL arrogant giants go down eventually. Today’s Lesson: Don’t be an arrogant ass.

Education and/or Wealth can be wonderful things, but they’re poor indicators of Character. Ive mentioned this before, actually. A jackass is a jackass no matter how educated or well paid. A good person is a good person whether he’s a multimillionaire with a string of degrees and benevolent interests or cleans toilets for a living and cannot read. Look to a person’s character, not their shell, and you’ll never, ever go wrong.

Kindness, even when unnoticed (or spat upon!), is never wasted. Do something kind. For your spouse, your next door neighbor, a complete stranger or the cranky relative who drives you crazy. Don’t do it for an expected reward of some sort; do it just to do it. It’s worth your time and your efforts even if it’s not appreciated. And speaking of this–J.W.  did a kindness for me this week that IS appreciated. Holla!

If your only talent is looking pretty, you’re in for a nasty downfall. Ever notice the desperation that starts to creep in among aging ’starlets’?  The same principle applies among ‘regular’ people, too. And to clarify–men are NOT immune. I’m gonna say this one time, so listen close. Expand. Your. Mind. Learn a trade. Take up a new hobby. Do something that you’re excited about. Grow. Youth is only for a season.

We really do reap what we sow. What you put out there comes back to you. It’s a law as real as gravity. Sometimes it takes awhile, but it ALWAYS applies. Be a good person. Do the right thing. Even when you lose something in the process.  If you’re patient, you’ll find out what you’ve gained is worth so. much. more. 

One last tidbit and I’ll end this post.

Fame blows. Our society is enamored with the famous. Why, I can’t imagine. To take a person, place him way up on a pedestal and then hound the ever living crap out of him in an effort to catch him in some compromising position? And then to kick him off the pedestal and forget him the minute a newer face comes along? Nooooooo thanks. I honestly don’t get why anyone would pursue fame. Why would a person want to be a prisoner in their own home? To lose anonymity completely? YUCK. I would never want to be Famous, but I’d give Rich a try! :)

6 Comments | Celebrities, Common Sense, Entertainment, Kelly Trainor, Manners, Opinion, People, Public Etiquette | Permalink
Posted by K. Trainor

Common Sense Lesson #812 – Eat food that fries your lips off and nobody will steal it.

June 10, 2009
"Hey Donkey" by Scout J Photography

"Hey Donkey" by Scout J Photography

Oh yeah. We cover ALL the important topics here on Ugly Ass Opinion!

As a young kid, my husband used to douse all his food with Red Hot to keep his big brother away from his plate. Are you reading this, Wayne? Holla!  To have Common Sense at such a tender age…it’s no wonder I married that man!

I’m not so big on spicy food, but y’alllll, I have to tell ya–I have a thing for Atomic Fire Balls. Greatest candy invented by modern man. I get instant awe from neighbor kids just by keeping them in my mouth and my kids never snitch any from my desk! 

This is a good thing, yes? 

I have a thing for cute asses, as well. See them all over this blog?

And that, friends and neighbors, is why I long to find a glass cookie jar shaped like a donkey. A Glass Ass, if you will. I would fill it to the brim with my beloved Fire Balls, glue the top on and display it proudly on my desk. I’d even get a fancy plaque for it:

In Case of Emergency, Break Ass.

That would put a whole new perspective on my day!

7 Comments | Common Sense, Humor, Kelly Trainor, Opinion | Tagged: , , , , | Permalink
Posted by K. Trainor

When I lose my job, the first thing I’ll buy is…

June 8, 2009

 

I will not get political. I will not get political. I will not…

THIS blog is about Common Sense, not politics. It’s just that the vast ocean of willful stupidity among political ‘leaders’ is very hard to ignore! But for a few posts, at least, ignore it I shall.

Besides. Yokels are fun to pick apart, too.

"Donkey" by Arie Eliens

"Donkey" by Arie Eliens

Today I stood inside a bank, waiting at the counter for my teller to return from doing whatever it is that tellers do when they start to wait on a person and then immediately vanish.

I wasn’t eavesdropping, honest. It’s just that if you stand there and people are loud………well, anyway.

Three people of questionable intelligence stood at the next teller station, trying to enlist the teller’s help with the ‘inside scoop’ on whether a proposed bank loan would go through. The conversation, –and I swear to you I cannot MAKE this stuff up– went something like this: 

“So I just lost my job,” said the guy/ringleader of the group, “but I’ve got my last few paycheck stubs. If I turn ‘em in and don’t tell the bank I’m outta work, do you think they’ll check? I really want to get a new trailer.”

The teller stood flabbergasted, unsure what to say. He didn’t really wait for an answer anyway. Much to my amusement, he went on:

“I’ve got my eye on a single-wide, and I was thinking I’d get the wheels off and get it up on pylons right away so if I have trouble with the payments, the bank can’t tow my house away. ” His two companions nodded in wide-eyed agreement. I wondered what the hell kind of pylons…? Mmm never mind.

The teller stood there with a smile plastered on her face, just blinking.

Mr. Mensa continued, “I wouldn’t tell ‘em the truth anyway, but do they ask if you’re taking the wheels off or not, do you know? I want to look natural if they say anything.”

At that point, most unfortunately, my teller returned with my receipt. I think it was the first time I’ve ever been disappointed to finish bank errands.

People.

I have no words. Yet I must poke fun.

NOT because of the man’s vocabulary or living quarters. Let’s get that straight raht’cheer! Money and education are poor indicators of character, and we’d all do well to remember it.

No, I poke fun because this yahoo thinks it’s a good idea to house shop while unemployed AND to involve a bank employee in a plan to fraudulently apply for a loan large enough to be a felony.

As Ron White so eloquently puts it, “You can’t fix stupid.”

I will make every effort to keep this man’s offspring out of my gene pool.

6 Comments | Common Sense, Humor, Kelly Trainor, Opinion, People | Tagged: , , | Permalink
Posted by K. Trainor

…Aaaaaand the cat came back! It didn’t go away…

June 4, 2009

Willya look at the dust in this place? Good gravy! You’d think I hadn’t been here in, oh, a month or so.  Shocking, I know.

I’m happy to report that I accomplished the majority that I’d set out to do. Sometimes you just have to step AWAY from the extras.

It hasn’t all been work. I’ve been reading some good books, too. I enjoyed The Light, The Dark & Ember Between by J.W. Nicklaus, (incurable romantics, this one is a must-read for you. I know–but I’m not a romantic! True, but I love me some goood writing. MmmHmm!) I also just finished Bram Stoker’s Dracula and moved on to To Kill a Mockingbird in case anyone’s writing this stuff down.  I’ve been hanging out with my kids, who are really cool people, although if I see another rerun of The Nanny I may kvetch. (Whatever that is.)

And I’ve been decompressing.

Ever decompress? I highly recommend it. Clears the mind a bit. So anyway, I’ll have a ‘real’ post soon. Thanks for your patience and for stopping by. :)

9 Comments | Blogging | Tagged: , , , , | Permalink
Posted by K. Trainor

I just can’t do it. Not when there are clones about!

April 22, 2009
Take a blogging break, that is. Well actually, I can and I will, but first I have to get something off my chest. This morning I opened up a news article stating a fertility doctor has provided proof that not only has he managed to clone human embryos, but he’s managed to fuse together genetic material to form the first human/bovine hybrid for study. Yes indeed, a human/cow.
What. The. Hell.
Donkey! by Grundlepuck

Donkey! by Grundlepuck

Thankfully, the cloned human embryos have not lived long past implantation in their ’mothers,’ and he claims one shred of human decency (albeit minuscule) by stating he would not implant the hybrid embryos in humans, calling them “models for us to learn.”  Ick.

Dear Dr. Dumbass Zavos, 

You have no idea what kind of toys you’re playing with. Creation of a human being is God’s job, not yours. There is a profound difference between helping couples conceive children using sperm and eggs and using miscellaneous DNA to form a carbon copy of a dead person. Would a clone even have a soul, do you think? I presume you don’t have any extras lying around, so what does that make your little science experiment?  What is a human being without a conscience or a moral center? What does it grow up to be?

A whack-job fertility doctor, perhaps.

And the thing with the cows – boogety!  To create an abomination of nature is not something to be proud of, idiot. Should those embryos grow (you neglected to mention their current state, but I’m not foolish enough to think your greed would allow you to terminate such a scientific ‘wonder’), what sort of life would such a creature have, poked, prodded and tested in a laboratory? You, sir, are an embarrassment to both your profession and to the human race.

I feel like I need a shower.

Ugly Ass Opinion

————–

Folks, I haven’t the words. I like to poke fun at the willfully stupid, but I find nothing funny about this situation. I know that human cloning attempts are not new; they’ve been documented at least since WWII. I have no doubt he’s not the only modern example, just the most publicized. But the brazen nature of this fool and utter disregard for what he’s messing with – not to mention preying on emotionally vulnerable people as either the new fertility wonder treatment or a way to get a lost loved one back -  really sets my Ugly Ass teeth on edge.

Pray for humanity. We need it.

Going back to my hiatus now!

9 Comments | Common Sense, Kelly Trainor, Opinion, Parenting, People | Tagged: , , , , | Permalink
Posted by K. Trainor

Going MIA for a bit.

April 20, 2009

So much to do, so little time. Unfortunately the blogs need to take a breather while I get some things accomplished around here. Wish me luck!  ;0]

3 Comments | Opinion | Permalink
Posted by K. Trainor

Are you as Tea’d off as I am?

April 16, 2009
tea-bag

Read my lipstick, you congressional dipsticks!

Yesterday’s tea parties. All across America, thousands upon thousands of people got together to tell Congress we don’t LIKE being ignored when we pay their salaries.

Ahhhhhhhhhhh. That did my Ugly Ass Opinion some serious good.  I live in a rural area of Michigan, and we had no tea parties close by. Believe me, I looked! I had to live vicariously through articles and new reports instead. Coverage (and lack thereof) was rather telling. psst! Big Media…your slip is showing.

Since Fox was the only real source of news, (SNORT!! Did I just say that? Seriously?) I did a lot of reading there. I don’t generally read Fox article comments for long because orderly commentary and debate quickly deteriorates into a mudfest. Take THAT, you troll! Get a grip, people. You win nothing by arguing in a virtual environment. Still, I waded in there longer than usual when reading Tea Party articles and responses to them. Lots of posters were on the same wavelength, but others…*sigh*  Gets out the big box of Crayolas for the foolish folk.

#1: Whodunnit: I love that these gi-normous non-partisan –That means not affiliated with a political party, Gomer–events full of fed up Americans are suddenly labeled Republican gatherings by both news media and media-hating magpies. Girrrrrrrrrrl please don’t label me a Republican, I just don’t think I can take it. Ditto on Democrat, by the way. For those that care about such stuff, my views tend to run rather down the center and maybe just a smidge to the right. I don’t agree enough with any political party to be a card carrying member, although Libertarian comes a bit closer to my preferences than the traditional Dynamic Duo. In any event, the tea parties were attended by Democrats, Republicans, Independents, Conservatives, Liberals, Gays, Straights, Pizza Delivery Boys with foot fetishes and possibly even a few twitterpainted Giraffes. Anyone who insists that a single political party stood holding those protest signs is delusional.

#2: Why? Why did all these people show up? What the heck are they doing? Well they’re not right wing terrorists, that’s for damn sure. Seriously, you would not believe some of the comments. Here’s a thought…maybe they’re A-M-E-R-I-C-A-N-S. You know, the folks whose interests Congress is sworn to represent? And since Congress seems to be running its own show without regard to the will of the people, just maybe some of these folks are a teensy bit fed up. Possibly. Then again, they may have just been out for a beer run.

#3: What do these protestors want?  Congress to listen, for one. Not to bankrupt our great-grandchildren, for another. And mass slaughter of Porkzilla for a third. For lawmakers who took an oath to represent the citizens and defend the Consitution to actually REPRESENT the citizens and DEFEND the Constitution. Is that so much to ask?

#4: Why all the hoopla? My taxes went down this year! Lemme get another crayon, Scooter.  This one’s getting a little dull. The taxes you just filed are do not include this mess. Yet. But our illustrious leader and the good ol’ boys on Capital hill have promised TRILLIONS of dollars we DO NOT HAVE. The interest alone is staggering, let alone the principal. Where do you suppose they’ll get that kind of cash? A bake sale on the White House lawn? And no, they can’t just print more bills and make everything hunky dory. Pats the little clueless person on the hand.

#5:  Didn’t Fox News just manufacture this whole thing? Hahahahahahahahahaaa! wheeze!  Bahahahahahahaha! breathe!  HoooEEEEEEhahahahahahaa! Air! Must have air!  Does anybody in their right mind think Fox has that kind of power? To pull together a conservative estimate of 2 Million people in over 2,000 locations across America, organized and all in the same frame of mind all at the same time? Shepard Smith wishes he was that good!

#6:  Where were you when Bush spent a gazillion dollars on a war we didn’t want? Obama inherited this mess! I was right here, mad as hell; wishing, hoping and praying people would finally get fed up enough to do this very thing. This isn’t about a particular president, a particular piece of legislation, or even particular members of Congress. It’s about a fiscally irresponsible government that’s grown dismissive at best –disdainful at worst– of the people it’s supposed to represent.

And that, friends and neighbors, is a dangerous beast.

14 Comments | Business, Common Sense, Constitutional Rights, Government, Humor, Kelly Trainor, Opinion, People, Politics | Tagged: , , , , | Permalink
Posted by K. Trainor

Reason #1 to smile today. :0)

April 12, 2009

I think His skin and hair were probably darker than this, but it’s a beautiful picture anyway. :)   Happy Easter, everyone!

jesus

11 Comments | Opinion | Tagged: , , , | Permalink
Posted by K. Trainor

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