Welcome to Amerika! The newest fascist state.

August 17, 2009

Many thanks to The Liberal Order for this little gem. I would never have seen it otherwise. I don’t like to piggy-back posts done by other folks, but this one is too special to keep to m’self.

Behold the Playmobil Security Checkpoint! Plastic proof that we can teach utter disregard for personal freedoms right from our very own homes!

Yes, but does it come with teeny little rubber gloves?

Yes, but does it come with teeny little rubber gloves?

Oh my Ugly Ass Opinion could rail at this little gem, but I find the comments at Amazon to be so much more entertaining!  A few little excerpts:

“Thank you Playmobil for allowing me to teach my 5-year old the importance of recognizing what a failing bureaucracy in a ever growing fascist state looks like.” -Zampano

“What better way to teach the next generation how to behave in a police state then with a toy such as this? I’m really hoping that they come out with a toy in which the kids can play “interrogator”. Think of all the fun the little folks can have waterboarding those who “hate our freedom”.” -Gwen P.

“This toy would be a lot more realistic with about 350 people standing in line for an average of an hour. It still makes a nice set with the interrogation room.” -M. McKnight

“This is great learning too for young brownshirts.
I am waiting for a few accessories though, kids size jackboots and a toy Taser.” -Alexander E. Paulson

“Finally a toy that gets our kids used to living in a police state. Benjamin Franklin said that those who would give up Essential Liberty to purchase a little Temporary Safety, deserve neither Liberty nor Safety. But then again, he lived in France for awhile, so what did he know about anything.” -YA

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Now if this toy had no buyers, it wouldn’t be on the market. Ergo some folks must think it’s ok. I can even see the argument that it might alleviate a small child’s anxiety about air travel – although in my Ugly Ass Opinion that doesn’t begin to excuse the relevance such a toy in the first place.

  So do tell…what do YOU think about this toy?

9 Comments | Common Sense, Constitutional Rights, Education, Entertainment, Government, Humor, Kelly Trainor, Opinion, Parenting, People, Politics, Retail | Tagged: , , | Permalink
Posted by K. Trainor

Whaaaat is this illegal downloading mess?

August 1, 2009
Methinks our legal priorities are getting a bit skewed.
 
This guy  just got fined $675 THOUSAND dollars for illegal downloads. Was he a wicked bootlegger? Nope. He’s a grad student who snagged ’em for personal use off a file sharing program.

What. the. hell.

I’m not a fan of file sharing programs. We don’t have one, we’re not getting one,  and my kids know they shall face the wrath of Mom like Hell hath no should they ever try to pull that crap. Songs are cheap, for pete’s sake. Soooo not worth a legal mess!

But what’s up with these ridiculous FINES? Last time I checked, nobody died from a Jonas Brothers download. Why would the courts ever allow people to be saddled with debt that may take a LIFETIME to repay for a non-violent crime?

I think our courts have forgotten to keep the main thing THE MAIN THING. There is a difference between violent and non-violent crime.

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And on a completely unrelated note, any WordPress bloggers about? I am having SUCH a time with it the past few posts. Pictures keep screwing up big time. grrrrrr. Anyone else having issues?

5 Comments | Entertainment, Kelly Trainor, Opinion, Parenting, Politics | Tagged: , , | Permalink
Posted by K. Trainor

But soft…what light through yonder window breaks?

July 31, 2009

(And if you don’t know where that comes from, get OFF the internet, head to the library right now and READ, HEATHEN!)

ahem.

Actually, Shakespeare has nothing to do with this post. I’ve just always had a hankering to use that title. So there. Ahhh but if I only had time to photo shop a donkey’s face on the bard. Looks at watch…damn. To the post!

I have noticed a delightful trend that seems to be sweeping across my little neck of the woods. I’m hoping against hope that it’s not just my little corner of the world, but maybe yours, too. This strange new phenomenon…?

Kindness.

Plain, simple kindness. In the past month or so, I’ve had more doors held for me (and oh yes, I hold them for others, too), received more ‘Excuse me’s’ and ‘Thank you’s’ than I’ve experienced in a VERY long time and had more people be gracious in traffic than I’ve seen in…uh…forever.

It’s wonderful. :)  

I hope you’ve noticed the same thing where you live. In fact, I hope the kindness bug bites your ass today. There’s nothing worse than a rude donkey. They can RUIN your day.

Have a fantabulous Friday, everyone!  And go ahead–someone out there has a Shakespearean quote about kindness they’re dying to use.  I just know it. Post away, you have my ugly ass blessing!

6 Comments | Common Sense, Etiquette, Humor, Kelly Trainor, Manners, Opinion, Parenting, People | Tagged: , , , | Permalink
Posted by K. Trainor

Amen. And Amen again!

July 28, 2009

My apologies for being MIA from blog-world. I’ve been working a LOT of hours and trying to catch up from a trip halfway across country as well. Eesh! Anyway, ran across this one and I think it sums up my Ugly Ass Opinion rather well!

If only there were a donkey in the photo, this would be my new header!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

If only there were a donkey…it would be my new header!

6 Comments | Common Sense, Constitutional Rights, Family, Government, Kelly Trainor, Opinion, People, Politics | Tagged: , , , | Permalink
Posted by K. Trainor

Bob Basso as Thomas Paine

July 4, 2009

I’ve really been trying to stay away from politics (which is one of the reasons my posts have been so sporadic). Ugly Ass Opinion isn’t a political blog, it’s about Common Sense. And yet the political arena is such a feast of blog fodder! sigh.  JW Nicklaus brought this little gem to my attention, and what can I say? The man holding court reeks of Common Sense! It may make you squirm in your seat, but suck it up, Sweet Pea. We all need to watch, because we are leaving this mess for our children.

Y’all, if Thomas Paine were alive, I do believe he’d hug this man.

10 Comments | Business, Constitutional Rights, Education, Government, Kelly Trainor, Money, Opinion, People, Politics | Permalink
Posted by K. Trainor

A little Ugly Ass something for our youth.

June 26, 2009

…Writing this on the fly, so bear with me. It’s really hard to text on the expressway.

I’m kidding!  I kid! I’m sitting at my desk and I couldn’t use the text feature on my phone if you paid me.  I do need to head out the door though, so typos be damned!

"A Funny Donkey Bag" by Aulee Creations

"A Funny Donkey Bag" by Aulee Creations

Yesterday, while eating an Ugly Ass burger at BK, (that was not an attempt to boost keywords, btw. It really was an ugly ass burger.)  An-y-wayyyy, I watched a misguided young lady enter said establishment for a job interview.

She wore her very best special ed outfit for it, too.

Blue jeans, fashionably ripped, with a White Zombie tee complete with huge zombie face, one eyeball hanging from the socket, melting features and what appeared to be VOMIT coming out of its mouth.

I soooo would’ve hired her on the spot!

People. Kindly instruct the clueless youth. Not only are they in competition with other teens for summer work, but they’re competing with grown-ups for those jobs now, too. They need to be taught to dress and act accordingly.

Common Sense. Don’t leave home without it!

8 Comments | Business, Common Sense, Etiquette, Humor, Kelly Trainor, Manners, Opinion, Parenting, People, fashion | Tagged: , | Permalink
Posted by K. Trainor

Life’s Lessons -or- An Assortment of Ways Most of us have Fallen on our Asses

June 18, 2009
"Donkey" by Badger

"Donkey" by Badger

At a certain…ah…age…we start to get a little introspective. We start to look at how much we’ve learned, and realize how much more we haven’t. At least, those of us with an ounce of Common Sense do. But since not all people have that ounce, I feel the need to share. Those of you folks wandering around who just don’t get it, this one’s for you.

Sooner or later, all arrogant giants fall. Doesn’t matter if they’re companies, governments, societies or just some arrogant snob with a pole up his kiester. (Wooohooo…! K.R. are you listening? Pull it out, you look like a popsicle.)  ALL arrogant giants go down eventually. Today’s Lesson: Don’t be an arrogant ass.

Education and/or Wealth can be wonderful things, but they’re poor indicators of Character. Ive mentioned this before, actually. A jackass is a jackass no matter how educated or well paid. A good person is a good person whether he’s a multimillionaire with a string of degrees and benevolent interests or cleans toilets for a living and cannot read. Look to a person’s character, not their shell, and you’ll never, ever go wrong.

Kindness, even when unnoticed (or spat upon!), is never wasted. Do something kind. For your spouse, your next door neighbor, a complete stranger or the cranky relative who drives you crazy. Don’t do it for an expected reward of some sort; do it just to do it. It’s worth your time and your efforts even if it’s not appreciated. And speaking of this–J.W.  did a kindness for me this week that IS appreciated. Holla!

If your only talent is looking pretty, you’re in for a nasty downfall. Ever notice the desperation that starts to creep in among aging ’starlets’?  The same principle applies among ‘regular’ people, too. And to clarify–men are NOT immune. I’m gonna say this one time, so listen close. Expand. Your. Mind. Learn a trade. Take up a new hobby. Do something that you’re excited about. Grow. Youth is only for a season.

We really do reap what we sow. What you put out there comes back to you. It’s a law as real as gravity. Sometimes it takes awhile, but it ALWAYS applies. Be a good person. Do the right thing. Even when you lose something in the process.  If you’re patient, you’ll find out what you’ve gained is worth so. much. more. 

One last tidbit and I’ll end this post.

Fame blows. Our society is enamored with the famous. Why, I can’t imagine. To take a person, place him way up on a pedestal and then hound the ever living crap out of him in an effort to catch him in some compromising position? And then to kick him off the pedestal and forget him the minute a newer face comes along? Nooooooo thanks. I honestly don’t get why anyone would pursue fame. Why would a person want to be a prisoner in their own home? To lose anonymity completely? YUCK. I would never want to be Famous, but I’d give Rich a try! :)

8 Comments | Celebrities, Common Sense, Entertainment, Kelly Trainor, Manners, Opinion, People, Public Etiquette | Permalink
Posted by K. Trainor

Common Sense Lesson #812 – Eat food that fries your lips off and nobody will steal it.

June 10, 2009
"Hey Donkey" by Scout J Photography

"Hey Donkey" by Scout J Photography

Oh yeah. We cover ALL the important topics here on Ugly Ass Opinion!

As a young kid, my husband used to douse all his food with Red Hot to keep his big brother away from his plate. Are you reading this, Wayne? Holla!  To have Common Sense at such a tender age…it’s no wonder I married that man!

I’m not so big on spicy food, but y’alllll, I have to tell ya–I have a thing for Atomic Fire Balls. Greatest candy invented by modern man. I get instant awe from neighbor kids just by keeping them in my mouth and my kids never snitch any from my desk! 

This is a good thing, yes? 

I have a thing for cute asses, as well. See them all over this blog?

And that, friends and neighbors, is why I long to find a glass cookie jar shaped like a donkey. A Glass Ass, if you will. I would fill it to the brim with my beloved Fire Balls, glue the top on and display it proudly on my desk. I’d even get a fancy plaque for it:

In Case of Emergency, Break Ass.

That would put a whole new perspective on my day!

7 Comments | Common Sense, Humor, Kelly Trainor, Opinion | Tagged: , , , , | Permalink
Posted by K. Trainor

When I lose my job, the first thing I’ll buy is…

June 8, 2009

 

I will not get political. I will not get political. I will not…

THIS blog is about Common Sense, not politics. It’s just that the vast ocean of willful stupidity among political ‘leaders’ is very hard to ignore! But for a few posts, at least, ignore it I shall.

Besides. Yokels are fun to pick apart, too.

"Donkey" by Arie Eliens

"Donkey" by Arie Eliens

Today I stood inside a bank, waiting at the counter for my teller to return from doing whatever it is that tellers do when they start to wait on a person and then immediately vanish.

I wasn’t eavesdropping, honest. It’s just that if you stand there and people are loud………well, anyway.

Three people of questionable intelligence stood at the next teller station, trying to enlist the teller’s help with the ‘inside scoop’ on whether a proposed bank loan would go through. The conversation, –and I swear to you I cannot MAKE this stuff up– went something like this: 

“So I just lost my job,” said the guy/ringleader of the group, “but I’ve got my last few paycheck stubs. If I turn ‘em in and don’t tell the bank I’m outta work, do you think they’ll check? I really want to get a new trailer.”

The teller stood flabbergasted, unsure what to say. He didn’t really wait for an answer anyway. Much to my amusement, he went on:

“I’ve got my eye on a single-wide, and I was thinking I’d get the wheels off and get it up on pylons right away so if I have trouble with the payments, the bank can’t tow my house away. ” His two companions nodded in wide-eyed agreement. I wondered what the hell kind of pylons…? Mmm never mind.

The teller stood there with a smile plastered on her face, just blinking.

Mr. Mensa continued, “I wouldn’t tell ‘em the truth anyway, but do they ask if you’re taking the wheels off or not, do you know? I want to look natural if they say anything.”

At that point, most unfortunately, my teller returned with my receipt. I think it was the first time I’ve ever been disappointed to finish bank errands.

People.

I have no words. Yet I must poke fun.

NOT because of the man’s vocabulary or living quarters. Let’s get that straight raht’cheer! Money and education are poor indicators of character, and we’d all do well to remember it.

No, I poke fun because this yahoo thinks it’s a good idea to house shop while unemployed AND to involve a bank employee in a plan to fraudulently apply for a loan large enough to be a felony.

As Ron White so eloquently puts it, “You can’t fix stupid.”

I will make every effort to keep this man’s offspring out of my gene pool.

6 Comments | Common Sense, Humor, Kelly Trainor, Opinion, People | Tagged: , , | Permalink
Posted by K. Trainor

…Aaaaaand the cat came back! It didn’t go away…

June 4, 2009

Willya look at the dust in this place? Good gravy! You’d think I hadn’t been here in, oh, a month or so.  Shocking, I know.

I’m happy to report that I accomplished the majority that I’d set out to do. Sometimes you just have to step AWAY from the extras.

It hasn’t all been work. I’ve been reading some good books, too. I enjoyed The Light, The Dark & Ember Between by J.W. Nicklaus, (incurable romantics, this one is a must-read for you. I know–but I’m not a romantic! True, but I love me some goood writing. MmmHmm!) I also just finished Bram Stoker’s Dracula and moved on to To Kill a Mockingbird in case anyone’s writing this stuff down.  I’ve been hanging out with my kids, who are really cool people, although if I see another rerun of The Nanny I may kvetch. (Whatever that is.)

And I’ve been decompressing.

Ever decompress? I highly recommend it. Clears the mind a bit. So anyway, I’ll have a ‘real’ post soon. Thanks for your patience and for stopping by. :)

9 Comments | Blogging | Tagged: , , , , | Permalink
Posted by K. Trainor

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